Sometimes things trip along nicely and everything is tickety boo. Without any great effort on your part life bowls along like a horse drawn carriage on a smooth road. Meals are delicious, trains are on time, long awaited bulbs burst into flower, adult children ring and tell you they are getting married or promoted or just having a great time, the slightly too tight skirt fits again, people come to you at work and tell you that you have done a marvellous job. There isn't any reason for any of this: life is just going through one its phases.
And sometimes everything is out of sorts. Your back hurts. Your cat has excema again. The wind blows cold and the garden is in suspended animation. You know you would feel better if you could bring yourself to do something but you can't even remember what there is to do while you are at home, wandering aimlessly from room to room. Yet as you sit on the train which is taking you away, you become aware of a hundred undone things and forgotten tasks. You are not on top of anything. Life is sliding away. At work the talk is of possible recession and redundancies. Your doctor says you need a barium enema.
The last two weeks have been one of the downtimes - nothing dreadful or tragic, just the drip, drip, drip of not feeling quite well, of being out of sorts. And today was barium enema day (we shall draw a veil over yesterday, "preparation day", that would be too much information). And do you know what? It wasn't all that bad. The radiographer and her assistants were an absolute model of how to treat someone when you are doing something unpleasant and undignified: friendly, courteous, sensitive and sensible. And now I can eat again after thirty six hours of fasting. Never have a cup of tea and a cheese sandwich tasted so good.
So as is often the case when you have felt rough and it stops, now I feel great. This afternoon I made hot cross buns and tonight Gardener's World is back on the television There is a bottle of wine in the fridge and the new raspberries are planted and the greenhouse beds composted - not by me but it still makes me feel good! I am still longing for spring and the pile of filing is still doing a leaning tower but things look manageable again. The crocuses are out along the garden wall and my lovely daughter has been on the phone. Time for a good weekend.