One of those weeks
Sometimes things trip along nicely and everything is tickety boo. Without any great effort on your part life bowls along like a horse drawn carriage on a smooth road. Meals are delicious, trains are on time, long awaited bulbs burst into flower, adult children ring and tell you they are getting married or promoted or just having a great time, the slightly too tight skirt fits again, people come to you at work and tell you that you have done a marvellous job. There isn't any reason for any of this: life is just going through one its phases.
And sometimes everything is out of sorts. Your back hurts. Your cat has excema again. The wind blows cold and the garden is in suspended animation. You know you would feel better if you could bring yourself to do something but you can't even remember what there is to do while you are at home, wandering aimlessly from room to room. Yet as you sit on the train which is taking you away, you become aware of a hundred undone things and forgotten tasks. You are not on top of anything. Life is sliding away. At work the talk is of possible recession and redundancies. Your doctor says you need a barium enema.
The last two weeks have been one of the downtimes - nothing dreadful or tragic, just the drip, drip, drip of not feeling quite well, of being out of sorts. And today was barium enema day (we shall draw a veil over yesterday, "preparation day", that would be too much information). And do you know what? It wasn't all that bad. The radiographer and her assistants were an absolute model of how to treat someone when you are doing something unpleasant and undignified: friendly, courteous, sensitive and sensible. And now I can eat again after thirty six hours of fasting. Never have a cup of tea and a cheese sandwich tasted so good.
So as is often the case when you have felt rough and it stops, now I feel great. This afternoon I made hot cross buns and tonight Gardener's World is back on the television There is a bottle of wine in the fridge and the new raspberries are planted and the greenhouse beds composted - not by me but it still makes me feel good! I am still longing for spring and the pile of filing is still doing a leaning tower but things look manageable again. The crocuses are out along the garden wall and my lovely daughter has been on the phone. Time for a good weekend.
And sometimes everything is out of sorts. Your back hurts. Your cat has excema again. The wind blows cold and the garden is in suspended animation. You know you would feel better if you could bring yourself to do something but you can't even remember what there is to do while you are at home, wandering aimlessly from room to room. Yet as you sit on the train which is taking you away, you become aware of a hundred undone things and forgotten tasks. You are not on top of anything. Life is sliding away. At work the talk is of possible recession and redundancies. Your doctor says you need a barium enema.
The last two weeks have been one of the downtimes - nothing dreadful or tragic, just the drip, drip, drip of not feeling quite well, of being out of sorts. And today was barium enema day (we shall draw a veil over yesterday, "preparation day", that would be too much information). And do you know what? It wasn't all that bad. The radiographer and her assistants were an absolute model of how to treat someone when you are doing something unpleasant and undignified: friendly, courteous, sensitive and sensible. And now I can eat again after thirty six hours of fasting. Never have a cup of tea and a cheese sandwich tasted so good.
So as is often the case when you have felt rough and it stops, now I feel great. This afternoon I made hot cross buns and tonight Gardener's World is back on the television There is a bottle of wine in the fridge and the new raspberries are planted and the greenhouse beds composted - not by me but it still makes me feel good! I am still longing for spring and the pile of filing is still doing a leaning tower but things look manageable again. The crocuses are out along the garden wall and my lovely daughter has been on the phone. Time for a good weekend.
love yr writing e. glad things have turned around and you're feeling better. enjoy the weekend!
ReplyDeleteThings are on the up now Elizabeth, I can feel it in your lovely writing.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful weekend.
Caitx
I do hope things are on the turn for you. Enjoy that weekend.
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed the most unpleasant procedure. So glad that is over, and hope you feel more yourself now.
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely weekend.
Good that your mood is turning just in time for the weekend!
ReplyDeleteI was yes yes yessing all the way through this right up until the barium meal thing (which I have never had to endure and am too feeble and pointless to imagine). Can't bear to think of you in anxious pain, and had - moving swiftly and evasively on - missed out on the Zoe garden thing. E hovering horribly on stairs in a way only husbands can, even though I've been Most Perfect Bloody Gorgeous Wife at, yup, you're about to read it right : CHRISTMAS WORKS DO. Will catch up on Zoe blog, below later. xx
ReplyDeleteLovely blog, though sorry that things haven't been going well for you. Is a barium enema the same as a barium meal? I had one of those once and you are absolutely correct to draw a veil over it!
ReplyDeleteAs for the rest of it, I think that Auntie Fennie should prescribe a good dose of positive thinking.
Repeat after me: life will bowl along like a horse drawn carriage on a smooth road. Meals will be delicious, trains on time, long awaited bulbs in flower. Adult children are on the point of ringing and telling you they are getting married or promoted or just having a great time. The slightly too tight skirt does fits again, people do come up at work and tell you that you have done a marvellous job.
And besides you have great friends at Purple Coo. Have a very good weekend. Fxx
Hope you are feeling better now. Enjoy the weekend.
ReplyDeletecrocuses and daughters sound much better than 36 hours with no food....
ReplyDeletevery glad the procedure is over and things are shining again.
Dear Elizabeth, I hope you are feeling better. I'm glad you were treated well as the proceedure is indeed unpleasant. Just want you to know there are so many happy thoughts are winging your way.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you have had a difficult time over the last 2 weeks. The barium thing sounds awful. I had one the other end (swallowing) which wasn't too bad. Now you have had it done, I'm sure you will perk up quickly. Spring is round the corner.
ReplyDeleteKeep focusing on those signs of spring - and write about them as it'll be a long time coming over here in Chicago.
ReplyDeleteYou manage to capture feeling and moods in your writing so very well. I, like Milla, was nodding and yessing (apart from the barium thing, and my thoughts go out to you) all the way through.
ReplyDeleteHope the feeling good is there to stay for some time yet. So glad I've found your blog!
Brilliantly written Elizabeth - I think you echo how many have been feeling lately (bar the barium you poor soul) and the fact that you feel great now has made me feel positive too. Thank you xx
ReplyDeleteHorrid Barium thingy - yuk. Poor you, hope everything's ok. And I hope that the garden just bursts into life soon and the skirt fits and the meals are delicious... yes, I think it's about time for a sea-change.
ReplyDeleteYou have the same outlook as me- it only takes a couple of good things to turn the tide and put me back on an upward spiral: come Friday 'The News Quiz' on radio 4, Gardeners World and a bottle of wine would certainly do the trick!
ReplyDeleteGlad to read that the icky barium prep day is days and days behind you. I hope that the good feelings have returned and that you are enjoying some spring weather - or at least the promise of spring weather!
ReplyDeleteThankyou for your kind comments on my new blog. I have just been reading your blog on your cancer journey and found it extremely well written and could relate to many of the things you brought up. I found the Philip Larkin Arundel Tomb quotation the most moving and it made me cry. We did Philip Larkins volume of "Whitsun Weddings"for A level English and I struggled with them but they became among my most favourite poems and I remember the Arundel Tomb one well.
ReplyDeleteHope you have a better week next week.
Hi just catching up, I'll see you tomorrow "Fish and horse radish" Hmmmm.....I sooo feel like that at home wandering around aimlessly but the minute i need to go out i remember what i should have done... lovely writing..xx
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