Questions

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Why do plants which the books say don't need staking still fall over? And yes, alliums, this means you.

Why does the recipe for coffee cake you can do blindfold and standing on your head fail when you make it for a new friend you would like to impress?

Why do bra straps fall off your shoulders yet still leave marks?

Why is the cat always in the way?

Why is the important letter the one you find unposted at the bottom of your handbag?

Why are there also eleven biros?

Why do you not notice until you are going into an important business meeting that you are wearing the far too shiny tights you meant to throw away?

Why is a huge salad no substitute for a small piece of cake?

Why is bindweed?

Why does it rain on the day you have finally mastered the use of your hair straighteners?

Why are bollards big enough to bump but too small to see?

Why did I get up this morning?

Comments

  1. Milla3 July 2008 at 20:44

    yes yes yes. And now I have to remember them as am in comments, but oh so yes to recipes failing - there is one couple I always cock up with, always, and it's so shaming, syllabubs fall apart, monkfish flounders, etc etc. rain, yes, bollards, yes, tights yes - and throw in a gusset problem. cat - substitute for dog lying across door ways and shaking when inside, not out, and spattering damp beard over clean floor. Could go on. great list.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous3 July 2008 at 21:45

    Oh and yes, yes, yes, too. Sorry to be so unoriginal, but yes! And those biros - they never work; neither are raisins or figs or dates a substitute for that small piece of cake, and that blasted letter, always...and it's now grubby, rain? absolutely. Brilliant!

    ReplyDelete
  3. mountainear3 July 2008 at 21:46

    Why are slugs?

    ...am I always in the wrong queue at the bank/post office/Sainsburys?

    Good questions.

    PS Milla - click on 'Show original post' above the comments and your memory won't be challenged.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Chris Stovell3 July 2008 at 22:15

    Oh, that one about the tights made me shudder!

    ReplyDelete
  5. LITTLE BROWN DOG3 July 2008 at 22:48

    So THAT's where all my biros have gone!

    I know this feeling all too well, but might substitute dog for cat, huge salad, four slices of bread and butter and a piece of cheese for your salad, and add Why do I stay up til 11pm eating my son's pick-and-mix and idly surfing when I should have gone to bed half an hour ago?

    Glad I stumbled on this, though - it made me smile with recognition. xx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Norma Murray3 July 2008 at 22:59

    Bad day then? Better one tomorrow? Hope so!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Expat mum3 July 2008 at 23:46

    I was wondering if the plural of allium might be allii, but if you're not in a good mood this probably won't help!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Exmoorjane4 July 2008 at 10:34

    Allia, I'd imagine, expatmum...as it looks fourth declension....eeek, sorry, got caught reading the comments...but think it's one like forum/s (fora) in which common usage avoids the (technically) correct Latin form.
    Most excellent list.
    Why is bindweed indeed, with its close cousin
    Why is ground elder?

    I'd substitute dog for cat but otherwise pretty much ditto to these (bar the staking as never remember to do that so they all flop anyway). xxx

    ReplyDelete
  9. laurie4 July 2008 at 18:23

    a salad is no substitute for a big piece of cake, either. i've tried.

    and what the heck is a biro? it's some kind of pen, right?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Totty Teabag4 July 2008 at 19:39

    'Cos life's a bitch and then you die....

    ReplyDelete
  11. Kitty5 July 2008 at 09:15

    Why indeed - slugs, bindweed, dog constantly squeezing between legs and cupboards just in case a crumb drops when baking, blow-drying hair on day when it's damp, bollards - ditto driving forwards out of a carpark space and not seeing the concrete flower bed = thunk/clangggg! yes, yes, yes...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Zoë5 July 2008 at 11:30

    Why? because if we didn't have things to annoy, frustrate, irritate and sadden us, we wouldnt enjoy the good times when we feel elated as much? There would be no counterpoint? I guess it just helps us feel alive, good or bad?

    Hope it improves soon!

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  13. Jodie Robson5 July 2008 at 13:39

    It's ridiculous, but I am nurturing bindweed in one part of the garden (with the fancy name of convolvulus cneorum) and cursing the common stuff twenty feet away. And you missed goosegrass, in garden and on dog. Chin up, it will pass...

    ReplyDelete
  14. Pondside6 July 2008 at 20:05

    GAWD - the tights....too awful!
    also - why does the price of gas go up the day I need a fill-up?
    Why does the tape on the cash register need changing just as I arrive at the desk?
    Why does company arrive the day I leave a pile of dishes in the sink?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Milkmaid7 July 2008 at 18:05

    I've had a bad day too, wore the wrong shoes, too sandelly for the rain so got wet feet. felt frumpy in what used to be a nice shirt but i guess is now past it's best. couldn't wait to get home to put my boots on a and a fleece to cover up awful shirt

    ReplyDelete
  16. Nan8 July 2008 at 15:45

    Excellent post! That list could go on forever, couldn't it?!

    ReplyDelete
  17. snailbeachshepherdess8 July 2008 at 19:14

    laughing so much at Milla shaking her damp beard everywhere ...
    I TRIED to make some jams to take away with me as pressies ...I have never seen anything like it ...the whisky marmalade was black and the lime and lemon turned navy blue!
    How are the chicks?

    ReplyDelete
  18. LITTLE BROWN DOG9 July 2008 at 23:21

    Just popped in to see if any more news on chicks?

    (& hope life is settling down a bit with you, Eliz.) x

    ReplyDelete
  19. Pipany11 July 2008 at 13:10

    Oh I could add a few to these Elizabeth - why is it that whenever you finally get free time it ends up fruitlessly wasted? Why is it that ... oh I won't start what could go on and on! Great list though xx

    ReplyDelete
  20. Fennie12 July 2008 at 21:26

    Why is Murphy's Law?

    Yes, why to all these things and many more too.

    Still we can at least ask why? And that is, at the very least, a sign of a sort of existence.

    ReplyDelete
  21. silverpebble18 August 2008 at 19:42

    I know this is an old post but I found it scrolling down through google reader. It made me chuckle - especially the tights, the bindweed and the cat. Our dog and our toddler are in the way incessantly.

    Why is dust?

    ReplyDelete

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