I am now speeding towards leaving work like a train towards the buffers. Last week I had my farewell meal in Manchester, a great meal in the Yang Sing, a fabulous Chinese restuarant. I looked round at all these people I have worked with for the last nine years and thought how very much I like them. Will I miss them? Well I hardly ever see them even now, we are all so busy chasing our own tails at work.
Everyone wants to know what I will do and it is clear again, as in so many conversations with colleagues, that people are torn between envy and disbelief at the idea of walking away. It also is much easier for them to understand the idea that I might lecture or take on some non executive jobs than that I might just do things with no profile, no clout, no money. These are my work friends, lovely interesting people, too busy to organise a wedding, too frantic at work to spend enough time slowly recovering after an injury falling from a horse. I was just as utterly work focussed for so long. It is extraordinary how completely that has changed. I don't feel like a different person and yet here I am making different choices. Weird, I don't understand it really, it is just necessary.
And tomorrow is the last day in London. I feel very strange tonight, a little queasy, a little wobbly, as if my body is determined to tell me that this a big thing I am doing, however hard I try to tell my head that I have thought about this, planned it, decided it and that I know this is the right thing for me.
Very early start tomorrow and the last train journey. Here we go.