Friday, 20 March 2009

Time for myself

I am now speeding towards leaving work like a train towards the buffers. Last week I had my farewell meal in Manchester, a great meal in the Yang Sing, a fabulous Chinese restuarant. I looked round at all these people I have worked with for the last nine years and thought how very much I like them. Will I miss them? Well I hardly ever see them even now, we are all so busy chasing our own tails at work.

Everyone wants to know what I will do and it is clear again, as in so many conversations with colleagues, that people are torn between envy and disbelief at the idea of walking away. It also is much easier for them to understand the idea that I might lecture or take on some non executive jobs than that I might just do things with no profile, no clout, no money. These are my work friends, lovely interesting people, too busy to organise a wedding, too frantic at work to spend enough time slowly recovering after an injury falling from a horse. I was just as utterly work focussed for so long. It is extraordinary how completely that has changed. I don't feel like a different person and yet here I am making different choices. Weird, I don't understand it really, it is just necessary.

And tomorrow is the last day in London. I feel very strange tonight, a little queasy, a little wobbly, as if my body is determined to tell me that this a big thing I am doing, however hard I try to tell my head that I have thought about this, planned it, decided it and that I know this is the right thing for me.

Very early start tomorrow and the last train journey. Here we go.

33 comments:

  1. Good luck for tomorrow! Its obvious that the pros outweigh the cons in this situation. You have made your decision and I'm sure that process wasn't a snap decision.

    Enjoy your last moments in work and look forward to what opportunities lie ahead of you!!

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  2. I think all that sick feeling is normal when you are taken out of your comfort zone. You'll settle in quick enough and find new things to put your energy into. Perhaps put more time into a part of you sorely neglected. Congrats again.

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  3. So - how was your first day not in London?

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  4. Whoops, sorry. The date on the top of this must be confusing! I started a post on Friday and finished if off today (Monday). Tuesday is the last day so hasn't happened yet!

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  5. Elizabeth, You are leaving the familiar, and embracing the new.Of course thee will be a period of adjustment. Everything has it's moment in time. Now is the time to do what your heart desires.I wish you every happiness, and enjoy every minute. Tiggy x

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  6. Elizabeth, once again I so want to applaud your decision to make this change. Well done. Enjoy that last day in your old familiar situation, and best wishes for all the wonderful days about to unfold.

    xo

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  7. I'm sure you won't regret this for a moment. Good luck and if you ever have a doubt, take a deep breath and look at the view from where you live. Works for me every time.

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  8. You may feel uneasy at first but you will settle in to it. Play in the dirt and you will find happiness.

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  9. Bravo Elizabeth! Good luck, don't look back expcept with good thoughts about all you've learned. Life is short - get out there and wrap your arms and your heart around it. You're giving yourself the gift of time - breath, play, explore, rest, take that loooong walk, read, plant, reap........come on over here, perhpas, when you've done some of the other things.
    All the best on your last day heading in to the office and our first day heading home for good.

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  10. You should have the queasy wobbly feeling Elizabeth otherwise it will pass with no great marking. It is so exciting and tomorrow will just be the best feeling - that weird sort of spaced out thing you get after finally handing in your last ever essay for your degree after being up all night! Just perfect. xx

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  11. I was confused by the date too! I think that feeling in the pit of your stomach is so normal in this kind of situation - brain has sorted it all out, made peace with the decision...body lurches a little, catching up. I hope all goes well...and there's definitely more to life than work! You're giving yourself a precious gift.

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  12. It's all been said already, but the very best of luck from me too, and here's to something new :-) Thank you for sharing so eloquently your feelings and experiences.

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  13. I hope your last day in London is a wonderful one.

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  14. Thinking of you today - the weather is glorious, so lets hope that's a good omen!

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  15. Well, it's now Tuesday so the moment you've anticipated/dreaded has come and gone.

    Has the feeling of freedom hit you yet? :-)

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  16. congratulations e!! you're going to love it.

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  17. At the end of my busy times such as graduating from University and retiring from work, I always had the strange feeling that I was forgetting something. I was so used to being busy and pressed for time. But, believe me, it didn't take long for that sensation to go away, and the feeling of freedom was wonderful. Of course, I soon filled in the time with new things, and have never been busier. Enjoy yours!

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  18. Well, I hope it was a good last day and that you left London feeling good about the future. Even if you didn't and thought 'Help' - don't worry, you will no doubt have a period of adjustment and then it will feel like it was another life.

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  19. Well, the time you were anticipating and dreading is over. For the first few days after I quit working I would wake up and panic thinking "I should already be at the pharmacy , I'm late". Now I wake up, smile, stretch and think - hmmm, what do I want to do today? It is an awesome feeling. Enjoy....

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  20. Well I'm sure you'll enjoy your new life. I was in London today, so packed and horrible, I'm sure you're glad to leave it.

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  21. It takes a while to adjust but it will be so worth while once you've adapted to your new life. For some time I felt guilty each time I walked up the village during the day, then all of a sudden it clicked. Now I just can't imagine how I managed to spend my days working, when there are so many other things to do with my time.

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  22. Well, it has been and gone now. You're free - in as much as we are ever free.

    Enjoy what is to come. x

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  23. I'm sorry that once again, I didn't comment sooner - have been flying around a bit (that's what happens when you stop working for someone else!). I hope that your last day at work went well. You're really going to enjoy this next stage.

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  24. Hey! You've had it now and are now in the ranks of the penniless free - how goes it?? Regrets? A grateful shaking of the shackles? Numb? feeling of vague doom? thrilled? bit of everything?

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  25. Very very good question Milla - I don't think I know yet. When I have slept on it for a few nights I will have a go at a blog to work it out. At the moment I am (or was before I got distracted and came on here) tidying out my handbag! How sad is that? There seems to be a lot to throw away that is work related, so it is oddly therapeutic.

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  26. Thinking of you. Make sure aswell as catching up on all the tasks you have put to one side to do, that you keep some time for yourself. Make yourself a hot drink and sit in your lovely garden, you now have the time to "stop and smell the roses". I am always grateful for the fact I can now manage my own time and not be told what to do and when after 22 years of working for the NHS. Enjoy xxx

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  27. I think the only thing you miss about work is the lovely people you worked with. Luckily I had a core of 6 good friends whom I met up with once a month to go to the cinema for a number of years before I left work. 2 years later we're still meeting up and also have a pamper weekend at a local spa. It's so great to keep in touch with them, especially as the conversation at some point whenever we meet turns to however did I find time to go to work!

    Those last days at work are always a bit strange. Mentally you've already left but physically you haven't. I can tell from your post that's exactly how you were last week.

    Hope things went well on your last day. It'll take a while to get used to 'not working', but you've got an exciting time ahead!

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  28. Well, it's all over by now. Sorry to be so late catching up. But somehow I suspect you'll be back. In a month or two the phone will ring - a couple of days work - can you help someone out?
    Will you be prepared to say 'no?' Will you want to say 'no.'

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  29. Gosh, that's a week ago. How are you??

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  30. My goodness; it's been a week. Did you arrive safely, or hit the buffers?

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  31. we need an update on the good life!!

    we only get one of these lives and for you to decide to live that life at this time on that beautiful farm makes all the sense in the world to me.

    hurrah for you!

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  32. I am so behind on your posts Elizabeth - wow, what an upheaval, what a change. It sounds as though you've taken a brave plunge, but the right one - how are things on the other side? Really hope all is well. Emma x

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