I have always been inclined to bite off more than I can chew. Having too much to do if you get it right is energising and exciting and gives your life zip and zoom. Having too much to do if you get it wrong is overwhelming and exhausting and makes you want to hide in the lavatories and have a quiet weep. Mostly I used to get it right. Then for a few years I tried to do way too much and had a constant battle to keep any kind of balance between my work and my family life and found that niceties like a social life and time for myself disappeared out the window. Now having given up my job I supposedly have all the time in the world.
This is never the case of course. You just do lots more of the things that you choose to do, and if you are a person with a tendency to load a lot on your plate, you carry on doing that, just different and perhaps more self indulgent things. Now, however, I think I should admit that maybe I ought to be getting to the end of my glorious time off phase and looking to find some means of making a financial contribution again. And glorious although my gardening, reading, growing things, cooking, eating, walking and making time for friends and family has been, there is a part of me that is quite excited by the idea of using my business brain again.
So this is just a reminder to myself of all the things I want to have time for before I rush into juggling too many balls in the air again:
I want to have time for my family - my parents, my husband, my children and my little grandson ("No Grandma, I am big now") and my new baby grandson. I want to have time for friends who for so many years were crammed into the rag ends of my life while I whizzed around from pillar to post. I want to have time for my garden so that it feels a pleasure, not another guilt inducing, never ending task. I want time to wander and walk and do my Welsh and my yoga and learn to knit a pair of socks in the round (thank you Pomona for the inspiration).
So I need to do the next stage carefully, consciously, ensuring I can do a good job of whatever I take on and protect my oh so hard won personal time. Slowly, carefully, one step at a time, fighting my own tendency to want to do everything and to take on all the interesting things that are possibilities. It is exciting. It is surprisingly daunting.
Wish me luck.