A night on my own

A night on my own?  This is an odd thing to say  really.  Ian is away down with my family but I don't have a night on my own because his father is still in the house.  So I am not on my own and yet it feels very different.

I have always liked a night or so to myself.  I like the silence.  I like the absence of football on the television or the noise of the radio.  I like the way I can sprawl all over the bed when I am on my own.  Knowing there is someone else here stops me from falling down quite so utterly into a bed of silence and luxurious solitude.  But still there is a quiet and an indulgence.  I am here at the laptop with no sense that I should be stopping, going upstairs, going to bed.

Tomorrow I will notice the absence of laughter and chat.  By the time Ian comes home again I will be desperate for company and conversation.  Already I miss him but how do you notice absence if you never have it?  So tonight I will sprawl across the bed and read until far too late.   Tomorrow I will begin to count  the days until he returns.

Comments

  1. Funny but I always find myself staying up far later when the hubs is out of town. We're not one of those couples who goes to bed at the same time anyway, but he's obviously the good influence in my life!

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    1. I stay up later too but I know that when I am away Ian does just the same so I am not sure how the good influence thing is working!

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  2. Sometimes I look foward to those times when hubby will be away, until he is gone . . . then I realize what I am missing . . . and I find myself immediately waiting for his return home . . . The occasional separations probably are a good thing . .

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    1. I do think occasional separations make you much more aware of what you have then when you just potter along in the same old way, taking each other for granted.

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  3. I know one should "be careful what you wish for" but I positively relish the days when Management is working in London and the house takes on a quiet and stillness that is just not possible when he's around. Talking to friends I have concluded this is something which women notice (and usually appreciate) and men don't :}

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    1. I think you might be right that this is more often a woman thing although I do know some men who share it. I relish it too, for a short time!

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  4. It is strange how different a house feels if there is another person in it even if that person is asleep or watching TV in a different room and might as well be absent. Thought-provoking as all your blogs are, Elizabeth.

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    1. That is very true. It is one of the things I am aware of now that we have my FIL living with us. The house is never empty and I miss it. I do however have the shepherd's hut to retreat to!

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  5. I love that 'me here only' space - his absences are pure luxury...for a while. Thougtful, wistful post Elizaheth

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    1. "Me here only" - what a great phrase Laura! Yes, I love it too.

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  6. For all the sleep-talking, fidgeting and snoring between us, my bed feels too empty if my DH isn't in it!

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    1. I will start to feel that over the next couple of days!

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  7. Shhhh...please don't tell my beloved. I have come to enjoy the one night a week that we spend apart.

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    1. I wonder if he does too? Contrast is a good thing in my book!

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  8. I can go about two hours before I miss my wife - and it's not just because I can't find anything.

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  9. This is a mad way to converse but I wrote about just this a while ago - http://annewareham.veddw.com/alone-or-lonely/

    Easier than copying it all into here! XXXXX

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    1. Really interesting blog. I thought you would have something to say on this!

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  10. I relish the occasional absences - the lack of routine, of questions (what are you doing and why...and where is my?) but mostly the solitude. And then it is so good to be back together again - time apart seems to make me appreciate togetherness more.

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  11. I have only had that feeling once in the last nine years when my son and his dad went camping without me....I'm not a big fan....of camping that is. REALLY enjoyed the peace and I realised a lot of the tidying I do isn't actually for me! x

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    1. The peace is wonderful. I am a much bigger fan of silence than my husband is!

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  12. We lived much of the first 25 years of our marriage with extended absences due to The Great Dane's military career. Now it is I who goes away, so I am rarely home alone. I don't mind a day or two - don't mind a night in a bed that is cool on the other side just when my side becomes unbearably hot. I find early evenings empty, though.

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    1. You are right. There is an hour or so when we would normally be eating together that feels a little odd when I am alone. That doesn't happen now my father in law is here!

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  13. I'm not very good at being alone. The daytime is fine, but not the evening. I'm the chatty one and I like externalising my thoughts not having them whirling around in my head.
    More practice coming up very shortly. The lighter evenings will be a help.

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    1. I get a bit lost if I have too much time on my own but a small amount is a real pleasure!

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  14. totally identify with your post!

    Nikki x

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  15. Oh yes, would hate to have lots and lots of it, but the occasiona night to yourself can seem almost magical, I particularly enjoy the luxury and sheer selfish self indulgence of being able to decide when to go to bed, or even if I go to bed, and just not having to consider someone else. But I wake up missing him and wanting to tell him what fun it was to spend a little time by myself, and see his amused smile as I waffle on at him. In the same way I enjoy chunks of day spent apart, usually lost in some gardening task, but only if I can then get a dose of together time. Funny thing this partnership business.

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    1. Exactly. It is the balance that makes it work and I suspect that balance is different for different couples. Some people clearly enjoy a "joined at the hip" partnership. Some have a degree of separateness that probably wouldn't suit me. I think we spent so much time in my former existence being apart in the week that I got very used to it.

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  16. There's something terribly self-indulgent about a few day's at home alone . Not that I suddenly run wild , eating baked beans out of the tin at three in the morning while playing poker online* , but that I could if I wanted to .
    Though it wouldn't be so much fun if I couldn't share the story with anyone over breakfast .
    * It might perhaps be time to update my notions of unbridled debauchery .

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    1. Love your notions of unbridled debauchery! I might have to find something to eat other than the baked beans!

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  17. Your thoughts always amuse me, somehow. Enjoy your little time on you own.ù
    Alberto

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    1. It is good to know I make you smile every now and then Alberto!

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  18. One of the wisest things I ever heard were the words of the officiant at my wedding... he said "let there be space in your togetherness". You've expressed the benefits of that perfectly.

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  19. One of the wisest things I ever heard were the words of the officiant at my wedding... he said "let there be space in your togetherness". You've expressed the benefits of that perfectly.

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